EQ成长的根本——灵命人格栽培
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<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto" align=left><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">（情绪智商）是近年热门的心理学题目，周五下午基督徒婚姻家庭辅导员蒋吴藴兰女士在湾区主日学教会领袖会议</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">(BASS)</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">上「以培养孩子的</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">」为题，指出提升</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">，应该从灵命人格栽培开始。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">要明白什么是</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">，首先要明白人有外在的表现，也有内在的世界。内心感受和情绪是正常的反应，无论是小孩子或者成年人都会经历到。所谓</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">，就是一种自我意识加上团体社交意识。个人方面，能够正确地评估自己的情绪、控制愤怒、平静自己的失望、处理焦虑等；就团体社交而言，就是知道自己对他人的影响及了解别人的处境。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">蒋女士指出，其实</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">里面最重要的是自我意识，不能好好管理自己的情绪，就会导致人际关系的问题。正如圣经上教导人要「爱主你的神，并且爱人如己」，意思是必须要从个人开始建立好与神的关系，才会懂得真正的爱，并且用这份爱去爱身边的人。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">圣经哥林多后书</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">12</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">章</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">9</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">节，使徒保罗告白说：「</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">…</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">因为我的能力是在人的软弱上显得完全。所以，我更喜欢夸自己的软弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。」当我们遇上外在环境的问题，我们必须在神的面前承认自己的软弱，祈求神来帮助我们、接受他的恩典，那么我们的心就可以得到平安。这是控制自我情绪的一种方法。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">个人情绪问题会直接人际关系方面的互动。为了减轻个人的痛苦，有时候我们向身边的人宣泄，直接对抗；也有些时候我们选择逃避，变成了冷战。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">蒋女士用了一个有趣的方法来介绍克服人际关系问题的秘诀。首先举起双手，握紧拳头，双手的大拇指头都是隐藏在下面的。两个拳头相撞的时候，代表两个人在争吵，但却是没有出路的。当大拇指头伸出来，就可以「制造对话的空间」，对另外的拳头说「啊！我受伤害了！」。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">她解释说，小孩子受到伤害的时候，自然的反应是大喊一声。成年人却忘记了怎样表达，尤其是东方人，他们一般不善于表达自己的感受。但是，我们必须承认人是软弱的，不但在神面前承认自己的软弱，也勇于向别人表现自己的软弱。像基督接纳我们一样，我们互相接纳、互相安慰，人际关系就可以达至和谐。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">总结来说，</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">的训练与个人的灵命人格栽培是息息相关的。圣经加拉太书</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">5</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">章</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">22</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">至</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">23</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">节讲到圣灵所结的果子，包括仁爱、喜乐、和平、忍耐、恩慈、良善、信实、温柔、节制。其中的「节制」与控制个人情绪关系最为密切。另外，如果人没有主耶稣基督的榜样的教导，不可能有真正良好的品格。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">最后，蒋女士鼓励大家学习提升</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">，永远都不太迟。高的</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">EQ</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial">水平帮助人一生发展增长，为终身所受用。</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #555555; LINE-HEIGHT: 130%; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></P></TD></TR>
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